Ideas for a military fiction story that i am writing?

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M1Brams

Member
Encountered a problem while writing the other due to supplies and equipment so i have to start on a blank slate..

Hi . sorry for the late reply. i was lagging at the time so i accidently double clicked
while posting/editing.

I have extensively reworked the idea, its still going on but there are some changes to the script. If you guys want, you can read some parts of the story involving the main character here

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B62MLdD0WYdkTjBFcUtfV0dmSGc/edit

It is sort of a revisionist alternative take on history, but i would like it to be as accurate as possible to real military engagements, but im not sure how.. if you guys could help, it would be great. It's not complete yet

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B62MLdD0WYdkTjBFcUtfV0dmSGc/edit


Im thinking of including a US carrier force/forces comprised of the Gerald R Ford supercarrier and its complements as a tie in to the story here so as not to rip off the JSDF anime Zipang which was using a JSDF guided missle destroyer but i have no idea what units would there be in an carrier operational task force, one geared up for full scale conflict.


Here's a sypnopsis of the story

The story starts off in 2020with a pupil(characters based on me and my friends)being transported back to 1941 along with the campus and its students.Being the period of Japanese occupation in Singapore, the campus is quickly discovered by the invading forces. The main characters are found along with the other students
and are sent to the hall to await decision on thier fate. On the way, the characters take advantage of an oppourtunity to ambush the lone soldier and gradually take over the whole school and rescue the students

Angered by the sudden loss of the school, the Japanese mount a campaign to take back the school, but the students have asked the British to reinforce them. Using the British weaponry , they repel the Japanese task force and engage in further battles to clear the Japanese off from Singapore but are stuck by fierce resistance, resulting in a stalemate.

Months later, the Japanese launch the fateful Pearl Harbour attack.Instead of withdrawing after the second wave, the Admiral, Isorokou Yamamoto orders a third wave after overruling Nagumo, paving the way for the destruction of USN essentials that would prove vital in the current

With the USN Pacific fleet out of action, the Japanese are free to roam the shipping lanes of SEA, and are ordered to bolster the wilting forces in Singapore.The bulk of the IJN are ordered to Singapore, as with the 3rd fleet of the USN.

Despite the technological superiority of the USN, they are quickly overwhelmed in numbers and are losing the battle.

Current 2020 timeline

The newly commisioned Gerald R Ford supercarrier ordered to sea trials in an exercise to familiarise itself operating alongside a task force when Beijing declares war on Taiwan over its independance declaration. The 7th Fleet is deployed , along with the carrier.

The carrier steams in response to the order, and encounters a strange storm en route. When the storm passes, the task force sees a large flurry of activity on its radar, scrambling F-35s and F-22N(Carrier versions of the F-22A).

As the aircraft are preparing to take off, a large squadron of Zeroes and Val bombers fly overhead as the Task force notice a listing heavily damaged Iowa and Missouri.
 
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My2Cents

Active Member
You have nothing there that is of relevance in the kind of war they had in 1960's except better trained personnel and slightly more refined weapons. Nothing world shaking.

The Viet Cong are operating in triple canopy jungle, so your reconnaissance assets are largely nullified. They have no tanks, so the AT weapons lack targets. Because of the ground conditions the M-48’s lower ground pressure makes it a superior choice to the M-60 or M-1. Only the m-2 and M-3 offer an advantage because they can be armored against RPG.

The US already has suficient aircraft. Your precision munitions are better for many jobs, but what are your targets? You lack cluster bombs and most of the targets are infantry.

Maybe in the 1975 invasion of Saigon you could make a difference, however you would also be violating Presidential directives not to get involved.
 

keithdsny

New Member
Hello and great Idea.
I see your biggest problem in this story being one of logistical support. As much of the ammunition, and maintenance for many of the weapons just was not available in the 60's and 70's. I only see, from my personal opinion, that if the whole "base of operation" was transported back with all the units. I can suggest an idea to make that happen. Being this original start point is in the 2020 range. The Chinese version of a HAARP like facility, used against such base of operation and transporting it back in time. A new location for the base, that was only a barren stretch of rice patties during the Vietnam war. With all on sight logistical support available for at least a minimum duration period of operations. May I also suggest one of the many islands located off the coast of Vietnam as a good location for this place. This way you can include both naval base and airfield. As far as future replenishment, may I suggest the use of a "secret" CIA factory, along the lines of a Lockheed Skunk Works, that has all the 60's era manufacturing, smelting , etc to reverse engineer and sustain ammunition supply, as well as have the ability to modify the Vietnam era weapons for use on the newer aircraft and armor. Remember, fact is usually stranger than fiction, and a slight twist to the possible and a little "maybe" makes it all work. Just look at a Tom Clancy novel.

Sorry for all the run on sentences and half thoughts. Writing and expressing myself is not one of my strong suits.

Good luck!
Keith
 

keithdsny

New Member
I also do not see why any of these weapons listed would not be a "game changer". I sight the War in Iraq in 1991, 2003 and current anti insurgency tactics and weapons deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan as real life examples. Being that this is taking place in the 2020 time frame, I'm sure these will have matured much further. The NVA and Viet Cong , engaged in a insurgent/guerrilla warfare.
 

RobWilliams

Super Moderator
Staff member
Have to say, is there any particular reason to create 2 more threads when you could have just continued the first one you started? I mean the base-line from both threads seems pretty much the same except the time period (at least, to me its that simple anyway) Hell they're even worded the same

Much like the movie, i would like to focus on a detachment of combined armed forces from the Singapore Army deploying to a nearby country in naval waters on a training exercise who are transported back to January 1942, a month before the Japanese invasion of Singapore.Instead of holding back, i would like to go all out, defending Singapore from the Japanese invasion and maybe even toying with the idea of an invasion with Japan. What would be the most feasible units that could be used?
Thats the 'original' so to speak, then there is the new one

Much like the movie, i would like to focus on a detachment of combined armed forces task force from the US army deploying to defend against a chinese invasion of north vietnam in 2020 While engaging targets in vietnam and is transported back to the 1960's vietnam war. Instead of holding back, i would like to go all out, defending South vietnam from the North Vietnam invasion and maybe even toying with the idea of an invasion of the North. What would be the most feasible units that could be used?
To me it just seems weird, for 2 passages pitching storylines to be almost exactly the same for wording. Take that how you will, but it just strikes me as 'odd' :)

Not counting the original thread, 2 more have since been started by yourself in this section of the forum and the only difference between them is this one has a 'kit list' of sorts and the other one does not, just seems a bit unneccesary thats all.

Unless my browsers having a brain fart that is.
 
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M1Brams

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  • #6
Have to say, is there any particular reason to create 2 more threads when you could have just continued the first one you started? I mean the base-line from both threads seems pretty much the same except the time period (at least, to me its that simple anyway) Hell they're even worded the same



Thats the 'original' so to speak, then there is the new one



To me it just seems weird, for 2 passages pitching storylines to be almost exactly the same for wording. Take that how you will, but it just strikes me as 'odd' :)

Not counting the original thread, 2 more have since been started by yourself in this section of the forum and the only difference between them is this one has a 'kit list' of sorts and the other one does not, just seems a bit unneccesary thats all.

Unless my browsers having a brain fart that is.
Hi . sorry for the late reply. i was lagging at the time so i accidently double clicked
while posting/editing.

I have extensively reworked the idea, its still going on but there are some changes to the script. If you guys want, you can read some parts of the story involving the main character here

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B62MLdD0WYdkTjBFcUtfV0dmSGc/edit

It is sort of a revisionist alternative take on history, but i would like it to be as accurate as possible to real military engagements, but im not sure how.. if you guys could help, it would be great. It's not complete yet




Im thinking of including a US carrier force/forces comprised of the Gerald R Ford supercarrier and its complements as a tie in to the story here so as not to rip off the JSDF anime Zipang which was using a JSDF guided missle destroyer but i have no idea what units would there be in an carrier operational task force, one geared up for full scale conflict.


Here's a sypnopsis of the story



The story starts off with a pupil(characters based on me and my friends)being transported back to 1941 along with the campus and its students.Being the period of Japanese occupation in Singapore, the campus is quickly discovered by the invading forces. The main characters are found along with the other students
and are sent to the hall to await decision on thier fate. On the way, the characters take advantage of an oppourtunity to ambush the lone soldier and gradually take over the whole school and rescue the students

Angered by the sudden loss of the school, the Japanese mount a campaign to take back the school, but the students have asked the British to reinforce them. Using the British weaponry , they repel the Japanese task force and engage in further battles to clear the Japanese off from Singapore but are stuck by fierce resistance, resulting in a stalemate.

Months later, the Japanese launch the fateful Pearl Harbour attack.Instead of withdrawing after the second wave, the Admiral, Isorokou Yamamoto orders a third wave after overruling Nagumo, paving the way for the destruction of USN essentials that would prove vital in the current

With the USN Pacific fleet out of action, the Japanese are free to roam the shipping lanes of SEA, and are ordered to bolster the wilting forces in Singapore.The bulk of the IJN are ordered to Singapore, as with the 3rd fleet of the USN.

Despite the technological superiority of the USN, they are quickly overwhelmed in numbers and are losing the battle.

Current 2020 timeline

The newly commisioned Gerald R Ford supercarrier ordered to sea trials in an exercise to familiarise itself operating alongside a task force when Beijing declares war on Taiwan over its independance declaration. The 7th Fleet is deployed , along with the carrier.

The carrier steams in response to the order, and encounters a strange storm en route. When the storm passes, the task force sees a large flurry of activity on its radar, scrambling F-35s.
As the aircraft are preparing to take off, a large squadron of Zeroes and Val bombers fly overhead as the Task force notice a listing heavily damaged Iowa and Missouri.
 

RobWilliams

Super Moderator
Staff member
...

The carrier steams in response to the order, and encounters a strange storm en route. When the storm passes, the task force sees a large flurry of activity on its radar, scrambling F-35s and F-22N(Carrier versions of the F-22A).

As the aircraft are preparing to take off, a large squadron of Zeroes and Val bombers fly overhead as the Task force notice a listing heavily damaged Iowa and Missouri.
I'd cut that out for a start if something close to realism is a goal of your book, as soon as I read that line i'd be a major killer for me.

EDIT: reading it again, i'd scrap the whole 2020 storyline. The idea of a CVN going through a storm, travelling back in time and having to make the decision to get involved or not get involved in a major historical event (real or fictional) has been done. It's far too close, all you did was swap a Nimitz and airgroup for a Ford + airgroup (part of which doesn't exist) and swapped out Pearl Harbour for an attack on Iwoa class battleships.

I'm 99% that in one of the other 2 threads you've created about doing something like this you've had the movie "The Final Countdown" mentioned to you because the basic storyline is INCREDIBLY similar
 

M1Brams

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I'd cut that out for a start if something close to realism is a goal of your book, as soon as I read that line i'd be a major killer for me.

EDIT: reading it again, i'd scrap the whole 2020 storyline. The idea of a CVN going through a storm, travelling back in time and having to make the decision to get involved or not get involved in a major historical event has been done. It's far too close, all you did was swap the Nimitz and airgroup for a Ford + airgroup (part of which doesn't exist) and swapped out Pearl Harbour for an attack on Iwoa class battleships.



I'm 99% that in one of the other 2 threads you've created about doing something like this you've had the movie "The Final Countdown" mentioned to you because the basic storyline is INCREDIBLY similar
Thanks for replying! Yup i concede it has been done thorough the final countdown but the nimitz and the F-14s didnt engage the Zero fighters, thereby not altering history.
but in this case, i want to explore what would have happened had the Japanese followed up pearl harbour with a third wave.

The main character was studying in 2020 when he was transported back to 1941 just before December 7th 1941 when the Japanese bombed the 7th fleet. Its just that i made a slight change in the attack, exploring the ramifications of what would have happened if the IJN carried out a third wave,rewriting history. The actions of the character also helped rewrite history.

The fictional battle between the IJN and USN at singapore( involving the Iowa, Yamato, Akagi, Missouri with the GRF carrier getting involved would be the climatic part of the story as the result of history being rewritten.
Regarding the matter of realism, i just meant as in how battles are fought as in how land/sea/ air engagements are carried out.
 

RobWilliams

Super Moderator
Staff member
As soon as someone realises the story is about a modern CVN going through a storm or any other weather pattern and travelling back to any previous point in time to take part in historical events, people will think "Pfffft, he's ripping off the Final Countdown", that's all there is to it.

Changing details like this time they actually engage or the ships/historical context involved is irrelevant, it's like re-writing SPR as Rescuing Corporal Jimmy except in the Pacific theatre because he's lost his sisters in a naval disaster and the main character sent to get him back lives but they lose the final big battle, the small changes are nothing compared to the huuuuge similarities or just blatant flips of the situation.

For me, the whole thing is too similar and I expect for the vast majority it is too. I highly suggest you think about something else, preferably something which doesn't already exist as a motion picture and try to market it as something different
 

M1Brams

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As soon as someone realises the story is about a modern CVN going through a storm or any other weather pattern and travelling back to any previous point in time to take part in historical events, people will think "Pfffft, he's ripping off the Final Countdown", that's all there is to it.

Changing details like this time they actually engage or the ships/historical context involved is irrelevant, it's like re-writing SPR as Rescuing Corporal Jimmy except in the Pacific theatre because he's lost his sisters in a naval disaster and the main character sent to get him back lives but they lose the final big battle, the small changes are nothing compared to the huuuuge similarities or just blatant flips of the situation.

For me, the whole thing is too similar and I expect for the vast majority it is too. I highly suggest you think about something else, preferably something which doesn't already exist as a motion picture and try to market it as something different
Thanks for your reply again

I guess it could be seen that way, but that's what i intend to address in a sequel which focuses on what happens after the battle and the return to 2020(albeit in a rewritten 2020)


For now im just focusing on the ww2 part of the story.
 

RobWilliams

Super Moderator
Staff member
No guess about it, that's how it WILL be seen, 100% for sure. Maybe not be everybody, but people will make the connection as it's not very subtle.

Sequel or not, it WILL be seen as an unimaginative rip off of The Final Countdown. I make one more plea that you sersiously recondisder going this route, put your focus on a story that hasn't yet been written rather than copying the framework of another and slotting in some different filler.

Once your publisher realises this, they'll laugh you out of the building.
 

M1Brams

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No guess about it, that's how it WILL be seen, 100% for sure. Maybe not be everybody, but people will make the connection as it's not very subtle.

Sequel or not, it WILL be seen as an unimaginative rip off of The Final Countdown. I make one more plea that you sersiously recondisder going this route, put your focus on a story that hasn't yet been written rather than copying the framework of another and slotting in some different filler.

Once your publisher realises this, they'll laugh you out of the building.
Thanks

Hmm.. i guess so.. but i never meant to copy the final countdown at all.. it is seperate. some parts may be similar but just to tell my own interpretation of a time travel conflict as a catalyst of what will happen in the future, not base the whole thing on the final countdown.The seaborne conflict is just a scene to illustrate the backstory alongside real world events with a twist added in.
The scene is also running alongside of what happens on shore in Singapore(original) and will intertwine, running parellel concurrently with what happens at sea. (characters will co operate together in the future)
 

RobWilliams

Super Moderator
Staff member
That's perfectly fine, but as soon as you have any sort of modern aircraft carrier travelling back in time to WW2 slotting into the story then people will make the connection and the bad reviews come rolling in.

At least, if I was reading a book and read that in the blurb, i'd promptly slide it back onto the shelf + if anyone mentioned it to me i'd point out that it's a copy of a storyline of an existing film.
 

M1Brams

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That's perfectly fine, but as soon as you have any sort of modern aircraft carrier travelling back in time to WW2 slotting into the story then people will make the connection and the bad reviews come rolling in.

At least, if I was reading a book and read that in the blurb, i'd promptly slide it back onto the shelf + if anyone mentioned it to me i'd point out that it's a copy of a storyline of an existing film.
Hmm. i dont really think .. it'll affect.. maybe if the whole thing was just purely based upon the final countdown what if? scenario only then i think it might really affect.. the novel but im just adding it parallelly to the main story
I know where you're coming from and i appreciate it. It means alot to me as i really want the best for my novel from any reply, bad or good.
:D

Im not really sure on what a task force is usually comprised of and the appropriate naval units as im not really sure of military matters(but im an enthusiast) :D

Thanks for your reply!
 

Zach Z.

New Member
Hmm. i dont really think .. it'll affect.. maybe if the whole thing was just purely based upon the final countdown what if? scenario only then i think it might really affect.. the novel but im just adding it parallelly to the main story
I know where you're coming from and i appreciate it. It means alot to me as i really want the best for my novel from any reply, bad or good.
:D

Im not really sure on what a task force is usually comprised of and the appropriate naval units as im not really sure of military matters(but im an enthusiast) :D

Thanks for your reply!
Well I might actually be able to suggest a place where you'd be able to post that book idea of yours. It's called fanfiction.net. The website is a kind of online library of sorts where people can place their works without the need to worry about copyright infringement and publishing. There is practically a place for everything. I'm sure you could find a place to post that story. I write for that website all the time, and I'll tell you something right now. There are a whole lot of people who know their stuff, as evidence by a Beta I work with that was formerly Army National Guard. So couple that type of writing resource and this site's absolute knowledge of the inner working of military and politial subjects you could come out with quite the story.
 

M1Brams

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Well I might actually be able to suggest a place where you'd be able to post that book idea of yours. It's called fanfiction.net. The website is a kind of online library of sorts where people can place their works without the need to worry about copyright infringement and publishing. There is practically a place for everything. I'm sure you could find a place to post that story. I write for that website all the time, and I'll tell you something right now. There are a whole lot of people who know their stuff, as evidence by a Beta I work with that was formerly Army National Guard. So couple that type of writing resource and this site's absolute knowledge of the inner working of military and politial subjects you could come out with quite the story.
Hi Zach thanks for the link, will check it out!

By beta you mean moderator? im not sure what you mean.

Cheers.
 

Zach Z.

New Member
A beta is simply someone who looks over your story and makes offers and suggestions, and if you give them the ability can make grammar corrections. A Beta reader is not a moderator in any way, Moderators on fanfiction are different than here, they enforce rules and such by blocking, warning and when necessary taking down stories and booting authors who are repeat offenders with a certain rule or policy. But now I think I might be getting off topic here.

Oh yeah and it's absolutely free!
 

M1Brams

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  • #18
A beta is simply someone who looks over your story and makes offers and suggestions, and if you give them the ability can make grammar corrections. A Beta reader is not a moderator in any way, Moderators on fanfiction are different than here, they enforce rules and such by blocking, warning and when necessary taking down stories and booting authors who are repeat offenders with a certain rule or policy. But now I think I might be getting off topic here.

Oh yeah and it's absolutely free!

hi Zach. Thanks for the clarification. Have signed up to the forum.

Im not sure regarding a carrier task force like for instance, the Gerald R Ford supercarrier in this case... what would the whole task force be comprised of? Would it be part of the 7th fleet or just a carrier force on its own? if it was going to a war deployment( in my novel's case, the Chinese fictional deployment to the Taiwan Straits)
 

Zach Z.

New Member
I think it would have at least one cruiser maybe two depending on the global situation, four to six destroyers, maybe three or four littoral combat ships depending on mission parameters and location, perhaps a pair of attack subs, and depending on the mission, a pair of amphibs and an oiler and supply MCS ships crewed by civilians but commanded by Navy. Then you have all the aircraft of a force that size complete with all the essential personnel, equipment, ammunition, fuel, etc.

A carrier strike force is designed to be able to fight for long periods of time and accomplish a whole stack of mission sets. It's extremely flexible and extremely dangerous.
 

M1Brams

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I think it would have at least one cruiser maybe two depending on the global situation, four to six destroyers, maybe three or four littoral combat ships depending on mission parameters and location, perhaps a pair of attack subs, and depending on the mission, a pair of amphibs and an oiler and supply MCS ships crewed by civilians but commanded by Navy. Then you have all the aircraft of a force that size complete with all the essential personnel, equipment, ammunition, fuel, etc.

A carrier strike force is designed to be able to fight for long periods of time and accomplish a whole stack of mission sets. It's extremely flexible and extremely dangerous.
I see. Thanks. Depending on the scale of warfare, would it be likely SSBNs would be involved, seeing as it (China) is a major superpower?

What would be the carrier task force complement of your choice in a situation involving China, in the scenario if it would be going nuclear(not really to the point of all out, but the threat is real?)



Im not really sure what are LCS? Are they destroyers, with the ability to change mission modules (anti air, land, ASW) depending on the situation?

Regarding the destroyers, how many would be AB or Ticonderoga class cruisers to provide AEGIS anti air/BMD and how many would be enough eg(Zumwalt) to provide shore bombardment, or engage enemy destroyers/ carriers?

In the timeline of 2020, i have to hazard a guess that F-35Cs would be the bulk of carrier operations? or would it still be covered under SH?

sorry im not very sure of military affairs. ><

Thanks in advance.
 
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